How to Deal with Anger at Work

We are emotional beings. Expressing emotion during a bout of frustration or fear isn’t something to hide, nor should it induce guilt or shame. Yet I see a different picture when I visit workplaces to teach emotional intelligence and resilience. Students often tell me privately, “Emotions are not welcome at work.”

In many work environments, expressing emotion is seen as unprofessional. But when we’re compelled to check our feelings at the door, we tend to disengage from our duties, feel alienated from our team members, and have less creativity. No one feels comfortable showing who they really are.

Researchers from the likes of Google and MIT find psychological safety to be one of the most important elements of successful teams — and thus high-performing organizations. Psychologically safe workplaces create space for teams to share feelings, needs, and truth without reprisal or punishment, and they foster an environment in which people can share their wholes selves.… READ MORE...

The Joy in Letting Go

There is a lot of uncertainty and change out there right now. We as human beings crave predictability, but the only constant source of stability we can count on and cultivate is within. Now is the time to strengthen our wisdom, ignite our inner fire, and be the calm within the storm for ourselves and for each other.
I often ask my students, “What are you really hungry for now?” They don’t say French fries or more clothes. These are the common responses:

  • I want peace.
  • I want more time.
  • I want to feel more connected, and be able to stay in the present moment more often when I’m spending time with those in my life.

Seem like a tall order? Not necessarily. In fact, we can reach some of these goals by simplifying our approach to everyday activities and encounters. One practice that brings us closer to strengthening our inner stability is letting go.… READ MORE...

What flavor is your anger

What flavor is your anger?

Since my last post on feelings and specifically anger, I have been exploring the different types of anger. When mindfulness is present, I am able to observe the various flavors of anger that arise and pass. We often have a tendency to push away difficult feelings, suppress, and push down, but what we resist, persists. Expressing our anger may have had unpleasant outcomes. For example, we may have been shamed or told, “young ladies and gentleman are seen, but never heard” so we don’t allow ourself to feel anger. I have been a person who has had some fear of anger, but in my repression of it and not giving it space, it leaked out in other harmful ways. We don’t need to fear anger. Instead give it space and get to know all its flavors so that you can use it consciously.

“Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything.